Wednesday, 24 March 2010

Labour Bans Itself Exclusive

In a shocking move NuLabour have banned themselves

David Cameron was quick to applaud NuLabours banning of Clusterfucks. 'Let's face it' the Tory leader said 'Brown is the biggest Clusterfuck since forever. He couldn't find the fucking brewery, let alone organise anything in it'

Nick Clegg leader of the party most likely to appeal to buyers of Werthers Originals said 'Fuck me - I'm having some of this Clusterfuck bandwagon' and he promptly jumped aboard.

MP Stephen Byers said 'My Dad was a stuntman in the film Jaws and I know all the members of Pink Floyd. That's 10 grand please'

***************** UPDATE *****************

Early reports of NuLabour banning Clusterfucks were incorrect. They have in fact banned Clusterbombs.

PM Gordon Brown said 'We think banning really effective weapons during a time of war is the way forward'

An MOD Spokesman was quoted as saying 'Don't bother asking me fuck all, I studied Drama at University mate'

Meanwhile a Taliban spokesman said 'Stop it please you're killing me. Oh my aching sides. Please stop, it's just too funny'

Defence Secretary Bob Ainsworth inspects the last
Cluster Bomb to be dropped in the Helmand Province

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