This Week ...

As "Jesse" (of Jesses' Diets fame (and if you don't know who or why, go Google "The Fast Show")) might say "Today, I 'ave mostly been ... sitting in a pool of my own despair".

Am rapidly coming to the conclusion that my venlafaxine isn't working or is working so well that my ability to distance myself from my own actions is slowly becoming blurred. It's not bad enough yet that I'm thinking of a self-sectioning but it's bad enough that I'm noticing - which is bad enough in itself. 300mg of venlafaxine daily leaves me emotionally numb but also robs me of the creativity that is a big part of my work.

Here's an example. I have a friend who comes over occasionally and helps me to look after M, and makes sure that I'm OK. He's a good friend who's more than capable of having a 100% perfect home life without me getting in the way but he and his partner (soon-to-be-wife) come over and make sure that I'm OK.

I'm grateful beyond measure to them for doing so. At the weekend when they were over they were using one of my laptops and making a purchase on eBay and I got amazingly angry with them (I internalised) that they were constantly asking questions when the answers were on the screen in front of them. How petty is that? I didn't tell them about this but I was seething after they went home and went to bed in a huff.

M (the dog) is been behaving herself (a Good Thing) and I've been trying to hustle up some work for the company: I've got a client who wants work done today and I've delivered that so I'm now pushing to get it done and get more stuff on the plate...