Thursday, 22 April 2010

Let Them Eat Cake

I like Chocolate cake. I like it a lot actually. This craving of mine for thick wedges of sponge and icing led to me learn a valuable lesson from a very young age.

I could not have my cake and then eat my cake. It was either one or the other. I didn't like this when I was very small and reliant on my folks. So I would scream and kick until my old man grew weary of my strops and clumped me.

I have been thinking about war a lot this week. This annoys me on many levels - I spent a lot of time licking a window several years ago while a kindly and very patient Doctor spent hour upon hour helping me to stop thinking about war.

We're at war right now - Well sort of. It's more of a WarLite you see. Our soldiers are dying and getting wounded. We've got that bit nicely squared away. However... Those who make the decisions up top, don't really have the stomach for a Full Fat Kill-Em-All type war. So we have been given this lukewarm cup of piss that is WarLite in its place.

If we are going to fight this war - it has to be total. We have to absorb massive casualties - inflict tenfold more upon the enemy. We have to spill his guts and show him no mercy - we must fill the cup of victory with his blood. There must be a wholesale slaughter of the enemy. Their rotting corpses should be piled ten feet high around our FireBases. Hundreds of thousand will die and many more will be wounded.

Then they'll give up. We can then bring home our survivors and try our best to patch them up.

The trouble is - You ain't gonna sell that to the Public. Why? Because this fucking war isn't worth the life of but one of our troops, that's why. Our kids are being sent off to fight and die with one arm tied behind their backs. We're either in or we are out. Me - I say we're out.

To those who lead us... Either eat that fucking cake or put it away.


  1. Alexander the Great apparently did well against the Afghans.

    Nobody else has done.

    I say out, too. Or let them eat cake.

  2. I changed the title because you're clever with words than I am....

    Take a bow Sir

  3. I think not. You should be writing a book. I would, but I don't have anything interesting to say. I don't mind proofreading yours though.

    Best army tales on the whole of the tinternetz.

  4. I started too - Will email you a couple of chapters if you like.

  5. I would buy your book. Would even get two copies so my dad and I wouldn't have to worry about who gets to read it first.
    If you for some reason ever needs someone to translate it to Danish then send me a mail.
    And I would also like to read your chapters along with Marvo. Wink, wink, hint, hint, nudge, nudge! :D