The war has been raging forever. I need to sleep. My eyes are bloodshot discs that have seen more than they should. I struggle to stay awake as I sit in the Commanders Cupola - my head lolls about, jarring me into consciousness.
I light another cigarette. Yellow fingers - split and cracked. I hurt. I'm thirsty. I need to sleep. An enemy soldier is standing on a mound, his weapon aimed at me.
I am awake. I am alive. I swing my rifle into my shoulder and pull the trigger. No explosion. No recoil. Stoppage.
I am 16 years old on the ranges. An NCO is screaming at me as I fail to carry out my Immediate Action Stoppage Drills. Spit erupts from his mouth as he hurls abuse at me. 'Clear the fucking stoppage Cunt' he screams, I panic. His boot slams into me.
I can see the bullet in mid-air. Copper coated death. Shattering bone and mangling flesh as it strikes. My infant Son, screaming as he is pulled into the world. I see a fly trapped in a web in my Grandmothers back garden. Why didn't I save it?
The Iraqi looks at me. I have seen my enemy, he is alive like me. They are people like me. He lowers his weapon and raises his hands. Hs war is done and he is happy.
Ten years later a Policeman aims his weapon at me. 'Fucking do it' I scream. He lowers his weapon and I fall to my knees. I sob as my mind cracks apart. The war has been raging forever...